Humor / News

Greeting Cards Are Too Expensive

- by Michael Mardings

Greeting cards, by nature, are just ridiculous and too expensive. That simple statement, I think, really just sums up my anger at the moment.

Today, I’m trying to buy a greeting card for my nephew whose birthday is today. In what possible scenario would one need to buy a nine-dollar card for the kid’s birthday?

Further to that, in what scenario would a kid ever say, “Thank you so much for that nine-dollar card. I’m so happy and honored by its beauty.“

To me, we have well evolved past written forms of communication with the advent of mini videos and email. Now, this child is of the new generation where they have an even worse connection to the written word. I’m quite sure the child would more so appreciate a small video as opposed to a card that he cannot even physically read anyway.

Sometimes, I try to buy cards that use other religions and/or other languages, just to keep the wife on her toes. She has protested at the matter. The kid doesn’t even speak English yet, so I really do not feel there is any concern about this child being offended by the Spanish card.

On top of that, I’m also wondering why in the hell they cost so much money when they basically are literally pieces of paper? Wouldn’t it be more efficient for me just to take a postcard and scribble on the front of it “happy birthday kid” and it would probably have the same exact desired effect.

Can somebody reading this tell me why in hell it makes any sense to buy a kid a card in today’s day and age? And, of course, the topper to that situation is the fact that after all of my concerns, turns out I had enough CVS points to get the card for free.

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Michael Mardings

Michael is a writer known for his sharp wit and humorous pieces. His writing style, much like that of David Sedaris, offers a unique and entertaining perspective that never fails to bring a smile to his readers' faces. Whether he's tackling serious topics with a touch of humor or poking fun at everyday absurdities, Michael's writing is sure to captivate his audience. Beyond his love for writing, Michael is an avid reader and enjoys discovering new writers to share with his followers.