Capresso CoffeeTEAM TS Where Great Coffee Meets Morning Chaos

I’ve always believed coffee is less of a beverage and more of a basic human right, which is why the Capresso CoffeeTEAM TS and I have developed a complicated love-hate relationship. On paper, it sounds like the dream machine: it grinds, it brews, it keeps your coffee hot without turning it into burnt sludge. In reality? It’s sort of like living with a roommate who does fantastic things for you but also chews with their mouth open.

First off, the grinder. Yes, it grinds beans fresh with these professional-grade steel burrs that make you feel like you’ve snuck into a high-end coffee shop. The beans tumble in, and in a few moments, you’ve got coffee grounds that smell like angels themselves roasted them. But the noise—oh, the noise. If you’ve ever wanted to simulate having a small airplane take off in your kitchen at 6 a.m., congratulations, this machine has you covered. It’s short-lived, thankfully, but loud enough to remind you that maybe instant coffee wasn’t so bad after all.

On the plus side, the coffee tastes fantastic. The Capresso CoffeeTEAM TS delivers a cup that’s hot, smooth, and strong enough to make you question whether you really need all ten cups it can brew. The stainless steel thermal carafe keeps the coffee drinkable for hours, which is convenient for people like me who get distracted scrolling through emails until noon. And because the coffee is brewed directly into the GoldTone Filter instead of wasteful paper filters, I get to feel smugly eco-friendly while sipping.

Programming is another adventure. There’s a 24-hour clock and timer, which theoretically lets you wake up to fresh coffee. In practice, it requires a basic understanding of electrical engineering to figure out the LCD. I eventually mastered it, but it did make me wonder if I should’ve just trained my dog to bring me a latte.

One detail I genuinely appreciate is the adjustable grind fineness. Light beans, dark beans, oily beans—you name it, this machine pretends to know them all. Five fineness settings let you tweak things to your liking, though if you’re anything like me, you’ll try them once, settle on one, and never change it again.

Cleaning is surprisingly easy, thanks to a see-through cover that lets you ensure everything’s running smoothly, and a design that doesn’t turn maintenance into a Saturday chore. The built-in charcoal water filter is also a nice touch, removing chlorine and the questionable “mystery flavors” that sometimes seep out of my faucet.

The CoffeeTEAM TS is equal parts brilliant and mildly annoying—like that talented coworker who insists on telling you about their CrossFit schedule. The coffee is worth it, though, and I’d rather put up with a minute of morning jet-engine noise than drink weak, reheated sludge.