Ah, chocolate. The universal remedy for bad days, awkward conversations, and questionable life choices. Some people meditate; I eat chocolate. And if I’m going to indulge in a moment of sugary introspection, I want it to be worth it. Enter Ritter Sport, the German chocolate brand that’s been perfecting the art of making tiny squares of happiness since 1912.
Now, I know what you’re thinking—another chocolate review. How groundbreaking. But stick with me because this isn’t just about chocolate; it’s about ethics, sustainability, and, most importantly, whether I can eat half a bar without regretting my existence. Spoiler alert: I can and did.
Let’s start with the good news. Ritter Sport takes its do-gooder status seriously. They were the first major chocolate brand to go all-in on 100% certified sustainable cocoa, which means you can devour a bar and still feel mildly superior to those eating less responsible chocolate. They even own their own cocoa farm in Nicaragua, El Cacao. It’s like farm-to-table, but with significantly more sugar and far less kale.
But let’s be honest—none of us are here for a lecture on ethical sourcing. We’re here to talk about the chocolate. Ritter Sport’s lineup includes over 25 flavors, and while I didn’t try all of them (yet), I did subject myself to some of their best and most intriguing varieties.
- Marzipan (Try it here) I’ll admit, marzipan is a divisive topic. Some people love it, others think it tastes like sweetened Play-Doh. Ritter Sport’s version, however, is a game-changer. The dark chocolate shell provides a perfect balance to the almond filling, making it one of those rare instances where eating marzipan doesn’t feel like chewing on scented candle wax.
- Dark Whole Hazelnuts (Crunch into it here) If you enjoy the sensation of your dentist judging your life choices, this one’s for you. The whole hazelnuts give this bar a crunch that borders on aggressive. That being said, the dark chocolate is smooth, rich, and just bitter enough to make you feel sophisticated while inhaling an entire square in one bite.
- Alpine Milk Chocolate (Taste nostalgia here) Creamy, dreamy, and dangerously easy to consume in large quantities. This one’s for the purists—those who just want their chocolate to taste like chocolate, without any unnecessary distractions like nuts, marzipan, or existential crises.
- Cornflakes (Get crunchy here) Somewhere, someone decided that cereal and chocolate should be friends. And you know what? They were absolutely right. This bar takes the comforting taste of breakfast and turns it into a snack that I may or may not have eaten for actual breakfast. No regrets.
Final Verdict: Ritter Sport makes chocolate that doesn’t just taste good but lets you feel good about eating it. And while I could pretend I carefully rationed my supply, the truth is that self-control and chocolate don’t belong in the same sentence. So go ahead—grab a bar (or five) and enjoy the sweet, square-shaped satisfaction.