Certain things in life demand reverence: a sunrise, a perfectly timed parking spot, and now apparently… a bacon strip that’s thick enough to moonlight as a doorstop. Meet Coleman All Natural Meats’ new Steak Cut Bacon, the kind of bacon that shows up late, makes a dramatic entrance, and insists you call it “Heritage Duroc” like it’s auditioning for the role of heirloom tomato.
First things first, this isn’t your typical bacon. This is 3/8-inch thick bacon. That’s basically pork in plank form. You don’t cook this bacon—you commit to it. It doesn’t fry so much as it lounges in the pan like it knows it’s the main character. And it is. I tried both versions: the Hickory Smoked (a smoky, indulgent flavor that could make a grown man weep), and the Applewood Smoked, which comes without added sugar—because if you’re going to ingest a meaty skyscraper, might as well do it Keto-style.
To be clear, this isn’t the bacon you panic-buy at 6:45 a.m. when you forgot you offered to host brunch. This is bacon that invites itself over at noon, pairs itself with your sad spinach salad, and single-handedly redeems it. I slapped a strip of this on top of a baked potato and suddenly felt like I had my life together. It was a lie, but a delicious one.
Coleman’s whole thing is being the good guy of the meat world. You know, no antibiotics ever, no hormones, no nitrates, no nitrites—just good ol’ pigs, raised right, eating their vegetarian diets like they’re at a yoga retreat. It’s the sort of backstory that makes you feel ethically superior for eating bacon the size of a ruler. So thank you, Coleman, for helping me justify my carnivorous decisions with words like “heritage” and “transparency.”
Now, at $11.99 for six slices (yes, six), it’s not your budget bacon. You’re paying for quality, humanely raised pork, and roughly one-quarter inch of self-esteem. If you’re used to buying bacon in a shrink-wrapped panic at the supermarket, this might be a stretch. But if you’re the type who wants to experience bacon, like a spiritual awakening wrapped in savory fat, you might be onto something here.
In the end, Coleman’s Steak Cut Bacon is exactly what you’d expect from a 150-year-old meat company trying to outdo itself: indulgent, premium, and absurdly thick. It’s bacon that boldly proclaims, “I’m not just a side dish—I’m the reason you’re eating this meal in the first place.” And honestly, I respect the audacity.