I recently found myself holding a can of something called, which sounds less like a cocktail and more like a reward for a Labrador retriever who has just learned how to sit. Naturally, I was intrigued. Not because I enjoy fruity vodka drinks—I enjoy judging fruity vodka drinks—but because I was promised three things: flavor, good vibes, and charity. And if I’m going to be emotionally manipulated by alcohol, it may as well benefit warrior dogs. Or breast cancer research. Or both, preferably not in the same PowerPoint.
Let’s start with the Good Boy Vodka Lemonades. These are vodka’s answer to “what if Capri Sun got a glow-up and went to CrossFit?” Each can delivers 110 calories of tart, sweet nostalgia, plus the bonus of actually tasting like real fruit juice instead of the lab-engineered mystery flavor of a vending machine in rural Ohio. My personal favorite? The Huckleberry Lemonade—because nothing says “I make questionable decisions in the sun” like a berry nobody can define without Googling.
Then there are the John Daly Cocktails, which attempt to convince you that adding iced tea to lemonade makes it classier. I see through the disguise. These zero-sugar, zero-carb creations are the equivalent of a gym membership for your liver—you feel healthy until the third can hits and you start texting your ex. The Blackberry Iced Tea & Lemonade tastes like a Lip Smacker had a midlife crisis and reinvented itself as an adult beverage. Somehow, it works.
Now, the Vodka Cocktails Variety Pack is where things get ambitious. These are for the flavor chasers. The kind of person who says things like “I taste hibiscus” without knowing what hibiscus is. I tried the Tropical Strawberry Hibiscus, and it reminded me of every tropical vacation I never took, with just enough artificial sunshine to make my kitchen feel like a beach. The Cranberry & Pineapple had the energy of a brunch that started at 10 and ended sometime after regret.
To their credit, every can I opened was as smooth as the branding—clean, bright, and annoyingly likable. Good Boy Vodka is doing that rare thing: tasting good and supporting things you can feel good about. Like service dogs and people with actual problems, not just your hangover.
Would I make this my go-to drink? I mean, probably not if I’m trying to impress a sommelier. But if I’m trying to survive a family barbecue without throwing a hot dog at someone, then yes. Absolutely.