Ah, MOWI Salmon. Regular salmon wasn’t cutting it, and we needed a version that moonlights as a world traveler. With origins spanning Norway, Scotland, Iceland, Ireland, the Faroe Islands, Canada, and Chile, this fish has seen more countries than I have. But sure, let’s pretend that makes it taste better.
Let me start with the MOWI Atlantic Salmon Side—30 ounces of what I can only describe as “the centerpiece of your dinner party if you hate cooking.” It’s BAP-certified, which I hear is shorthand for “we swear this fish had a decent life.” Pop it in the oven or on the grill, and boom, you’ve fed eight people who now think you’re some culinary mastermind. Drizzle a little olive oil, sprinkle some salt and pepper, and suddenly, you’re Gordon Ramsay without the emotional trauma. Feeling extra? Slather on your custom marinade and pretend you invented salmon. Buy the MOWI Atlantic Salmon Side here.
Then there’s the MOWI Atlantic Salmon Lightly Smoked Portions. Two portions, because why overcommit? Lightly smoked with maple, oak, cherry, and apple woods, four different trees had to sacrifice themselves so your salmon could be extra sophisticated. It’s like the fish went to an artisanal smokehouse and returned with a culinary arts minor. Whether you pan-fry, grill, or stare at it, wondering if it’s too pretty to eat, it’s ready to impress. Grab your smoked salmon here.
Now, let me be clear—it’s good salmon. Like, suspiciously good. Which almost makes me forget that this company controls one-fifth of the world’s farmed Atlantic salmon. One-fifth! That’s not a salmon company; that’s a salmon empire. Should I be concerned? Probably. Am I still going to eat it? Absolutely.
So, if you’re in the market for a fish that’s been around the world and wants to make your dinner guests think you have your life together, MOWI Salmon might be your catch. Don’t blame me when your friends always expect you to cook like this.