Let me start by saying this: I never thought I’d be writing a heartfelt (and slightly resentful) review of a box of fruit. Yet here we are. Welcome to late-stage adulthood, where receiving a Fruit and Snacks Gift Set from The FruitGuys somehow elicits more emotion than half my dating history.
I wasn’t ready. No one’s prepared. You open the box expecting some apples, a sad banana, and a couple of pretzels that taste like existential dread. Instead, you’re met with an arrangement of farm-fresh fruit so bright and perfectly placed, I briefly wondered if I was being recruited into a cult. A well-fed, vitamin-rich cult.
And the snacks. Oh, the snacks. Someone at FruitGuys HQ decided that “clean ingredients” should still taste like food, not the air in a Whole Foods yoga aisle. Revolutionary. They’ve curated the mix with everything from dried fruit that doesn’t taste like sadness to nut blends that make you question whether cashews are emotionally supportive.
They claim they’ve been sourcing from small farms near you since 1998. I don’t know where you live, but I assume it’s somewhere vaguely fruit-producing. My point is, it’s not just fruit. It’s locally grown fruit from farmers who care about sustainability and the planet’s future, unlike my landlord. These aren’t just oranges. They’re organic orbs of virtue. You can practically taste the generational land stewardship.
And speaking of virtue, let’s talk about The FruitGuys Community Fund. They’ve been giving sustainability grants to small farms since 2012. Why stop at delivering guilt-free apples when you can also sprinkle in the smug satisfaction of supporting regenerative agriculture? They even cover all the administrative costs of their non-profit. I once donated $10 to a Kickstarter and got a sticker and a vague sense of betrayal, so this was refreshingly effective.
If you’re looking to send a gift that says “I care about you, but also about bees and crop rotation,” The FruitGuys’ Fruit and Snacks Gift Set is an absurdly impressive choice. It’s also a weird flex—but a good one.
And if you’re ordering it for yourself because you’re a grown-up who panic-buys fruit instead of furniture? Same. No judgment. Just know that the box will outshine you in nutrition and moral fiber.
So go ahead. Get the fruit. Impress your coworkers. Support a small farm. Or eat a nectarine that doesn’t taste like disappointment. We all deserve one.