I have a complicated relationship with cooking. On the one hand, I love standing triumphantly in the kitchen, whipping up a five-star meal while classical music plays in the background. On the other hand, I’m also very fond of convenience, and my stove and I operate under an unspoken agreement: minimal interaction.
Enter Kevin’s Natural Foods Stir Fry Kits—an answer to my ongoing struggle between gourmet aspirations and sheer laziness. These pre-packaged wonders claim to be a healthier alternative to takeout, and let’s be honest, the bar isn’t exactly high when the competition is a grease-soaked paper bag.
Each kit boasts sous-vide protein (which, for the uninitiated, is French for “cooked in a plastic bag, but fancy”) with up to 17 grams of protein per serving. And there are vegetables in there—green beans, which means I can now say I’m getting my greens without lying to my doctor. The flavors? Oh, they’re fancy too. Honey Garlic Chicken and Soy-Free Sichuan Chicken sound like something that would take me three hours and a minor kitchen fire to recreate.
Now, for the reality check, these kits are straightforward. They’re ready in under 10 minutes, roughly the time it takes me to regret most of my cooking decisions. The chicken is raised without antibiotics (a relief since my last attempt at home cooking probably required medical intervention). And they’re both Paleo-certified and gluten-free, making them an excellent option for those who like their food with a side of dietary virtue.
Of course, perfection is an illusion. While the sauces were genuinely impressive (I’d bathe in that Honey Garlic if it were socially acceptable), the portions left something to be desired. Perhaps my appetite is abnormally large, or possibly Kevin assumes I have the self-restraint of a woodland creature. Either way, I found myself wishing for just a little more.
All in all, Kevin’s Natural Foods Stir Fry Kits are a solid addition to the fridge. They’re tasty, healthy, and convenient—the trifecta of responsible adulting. Just don’t expect them to completely replace your takeout habit unless you have the appetite of a small bird.
If you’re ready to trick yourself into feeling like a functional adult, you can grab Kevin’s stir fry kits
.