20 “Bad” Dad Jokes

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!  I know my memories of my own dad include his constant joke telling; some of them so bad we were all hysterical.  Here are some of my personal faves in honor of my Dad who is very missed every day, but especially today.

  1.  Why did the picture go to jail?  Because it was framed 
  2. Want to hear a joke about construction?  I’m still working on it
  3.  What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
  4. What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y
  5. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it
  6. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on it’s own? It was two tired
  7. Why are cats bad storytellers? They only have one tale
  8. Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with (get it…no body…)
  9. What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me 
  10. You know why I don’t trust stairs? They’re always up to something 
  11. Did you hear the rumor about the butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it.  
  12. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all its problems 
  13. If you see a crime at the Apple Store….does that make you an iWitness?
  14. Never trust atoms.  They make up everything 
  15. Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island
  16. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut
  17. What is black, white and read all over? A newspaper 
  18. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro.  Its a total rip-off 
  19. Why do bees have sticky hair? They use a honeycomb 
  20. Why didn’t the melons get married?  Because they cantaloupe

So there you have it..some of the best, most terrible dad jokes out there.  Go throw a steak on the grill, fill up your pint glass and read these at your backyard bbq today!

Happy Father’s Day to all!